Drugs and sex don’t always go hand in hand, so it’s important to know which drugs work and which drugs don’t. Whilst alcohol may make you want sex more, it’ll probably reduce your performance if you have too much of it. Cannabis might make you chill, but in reality it’s supposed to enhance the senses and make those caresses even more sensual. MDMA can make you feel love and euphoria but, for men, it’s not always too easy to get things going (if you know what I mean). But what about hallucinogens?
Is it advisable or even pleasurable to have sex whilst tripping? Some people swear by it, whilst others couldn’t think of anything worse. I have my own opinions. Let’s delve into it.
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What Makes Sex Good?
Before we can conclude whether sex and hallucinogens are a good partnership, we first need to acknowledge what makes good sex. Once we know that, then we’ll be able to see whether hallucinogenic drugs can enhance or deter those feelings. Deciding what makes good sex is like deciding what makes good food, or a good holiday, or a good film. It’s all extremely dependent on what that specific person likes.
For instance, some people like slow love making, others like BDSM, and some people even like to wear a huge lobster costume. However, whatever floats your boat, surely there’s a sense that the experience wants to be enjoyed. Both parties want to feel pleasured, in whatever way that may be. So, what are the key elements that make sex good? Well, most studies and research seem to point towards similar things. There does seem to be some consensus after all. These include:
Trust is crucial, everything is built on this. It’s the trust that the other person will respect you, the trust that they will stay within the remit of what you both want, and the trust that this person wants to be doing this with you. The Houston Counselling Marriage writes:
“There are all kinds of trust issues that can potentially crop up. Infidelity is probably the biggest one most people think about, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You may be afraid your partner will share details about your intimacy with others. Or that they don’t find you attractive enough. Or that they’re lying to you about their satisfaction.”
Trust is built from honest and good communication, with both of these things sex will 100% improve.
Connection is probably the most important element to good sex. Pornography may try and suggest that mindless, connection-less sex is what makes sex sexier, but ultimately this is just for show. There’s nothing cool or sexy about not connecting and not pleasuring the other person. Anyone will tell you that the best sex has a core connection. The Guardian quotes the psychotherapist and sex guru, Ian Kerner, and writes:
“If you can develop open communication around sex from the beginning of a relationship, it’s incredibly helpful…I’d find it really hot if we did this or you touched me like this…If you can visualize the sex you want to have… you’re really halfway there. It will help you be clear with someone else about what you want.”
There seems to be some sort of pornographic lie that sexual partners enjoy no connection and no communication. Ultimately, with this kind of atmosphere, it’s very likely that your pleasure attempts will be stabbing in the dark.
The next element of sex that keeps cropping up is sensuality. Now, some people like sex to be slow, and some like it to be fast, perhaps even rough. However people enjoy their experiences, sensuality is crucial. You want to be able to feel the pleasure you’re getting and feel the pleasure you’re giving. Sex is all about touch and the anticipation of touch. Any recreational drug that enhances the senses, is most likely to enhance the overall experience.
Open-mindedness is also a great asset to the bedroom. Of course it’s absolutely crucial to have your boundaries and to not feel pressured to step outside of those, but it’s also important to be open-minded about things you’re intrigued by. It’s also important to be open-minded about what might make your partner happy.
For instance, sometimes individuals can find it difficult to accept sex toys into their sex life because it makes them feel less important, or less able to make their partner happy on their own. However, it’s important to allow these devices in, and to not feel like your egos have been tarnished. Again, any recreational drug that boosts an open-mind, in a safe way, is definitely going to improve the sexual experience.
The next essential part of good sex is loving yourself. Feeling comfortable in your body and content with your mind is key, otherwise you may be prone to feeling self-conscious or have the inability to ask for what you so desire. The Guardian continues:
“The first step to opening up is to develop self-compassion. “You turn toward the parts of yourself that you are worried about, with kindness, accepting that while they may seem scary they are also true.” Inviting someone we trust into that truth, she says, can be an incredibly liberating experience.”
A sexual experience full of self hate may lead to a less than enjoyable one. You won’t expect the pleasure you deserve, and it could end up being quite the one-sided affair.
Lastly, the final element that many people discuss is fun. Fun and enjoyment is of course key. It’s okay to laugh, it’s okay to play, it’s okay to smile. Sex doesn’t need be a thoroughly serious experience. Instead, allow yourself to play. Allow yourself to experiment. Allow yourself to bask in the enjoyment.
Do Hallucinogens Create Better Sex?
So, now we understand the types of elements that are needed in order to have the best sexual experiences, we can now begin to look at whether hallucinogens may bring you closer to these, or perhaps further away. The first thing to mention is that drugs, whatever they are, do not go well with sex in excess. If you’re too intoxicated then it will most likely drown out any sexual experience, regardless of the substance.
The essence of sex on acid or any hallucinogen is best summarised by The Mix:
“High: Some people report an increased sexual awareness while having sex on LSD. Low: Trips are unpredictable because it is a hallucinogenic drug. Hallucinating unpleasantly during sex could be traumatic, while a heavy dose means a total turn off for the user.”
This is the dichotomy with this kind of substance. On the one hand, it may create a quite spectacular sexual experience. On the other hand, you may fall victim to the infamous bad trip. But if you’re with someone you care about, and you’re staying within the remit of what you both want, then it should go smoothly.
Acid, mushrooms and even toad venom have similar effects. They both sit within the hallucinogen family, which means they can create out-of-body experiences. The substance essentially turns off the brain’s default mode network, allowing imaginations and sensations to run wild. This can be the best or the worst thing, depending on how your trip goes. Ultimately, I had sex with someone I loved, so it’s hard to tell what it might be like with a stranger. However, it’s important to note that acid is not something people would often recommend taking with people you don’t trust. It’s such an intense experience hallucinating that comfortability is essential.
We had decided to do it more out of intrigue than anything else and, to be brutally honest, it was probably the best I’ve ever had. It wasn’t just sex anymore, it was far more than that. Any anxieties, differences, insecurities vanished. It was like we were one – without wanting to sound incredibly cringey. We weren’t two bodies anymore, we were one entity, doing something that people have been doing for centuries.
Each push, pull, breathe and thrust felt much more defined. It was like I was watching myself from my own eyes and hers. At one point I even felt like making love to myself, which was quite the odd experience. It isn’t something I could handle everyday, but for one off occasions, having sex on hallucinogens was incredible. It brought us closer together. Vice News writes of a similar experience:
“Each sensation was new, each crevice felt unexplored, each thrust seemed synced with our breath, each cell of my body was aflame… It seemed like ‘sex’ wasn’t enough to explain what we are doing—it was something far more trascendental. We could’ve been at it for 2 minutes or 20 hours—I don’t quite know what it was, and an orgasm was merely a part of the package rather than the eventuality you come to.”
If you’re interested in having sex on hallucinogens with someone you know, trust and care about then I would definitely recommend considering it. Just ensure you’re somewhere comfortable, and the right temperature. However, if you’re wanting to do it with a stranger then proceed with caution. A casual sexual experience can easily become a life-changing, transcendent event. You want to feel like you’re journeying with someone you know cares about you, and you them.
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